Earlier in the week I was in a training session with Nick Howard. He’s the founder of Cypress River, which is a Christian coaching firm helping leaders function at a higher level. It’s been a two-year process as part of a group that he meets with and I feel like I’ve learned quite a bit. The biggest lesson that I’ve learned comes in the area of learning to listen.
Most people do not listen well. As someone is speaking we’re already mentally preparing the next thing that we’re going to say as soon as the person takes a breath. And this is the biggest lesson I’ve learned through this coaching process–how to coach and listen to someone else.
When I’m listening to someone, I’m trying to concentrate on being completely present for that person. I’m not thinking about what I might say or how I might respond. I’m only going to go where that person wants to go. And it’s an amazing thing when you listen well to someone. Without you giving any answers or trying to solve their problem they come up with their own solutions and feel a sense of clarity. It can be a powerful process.
I know when I’ve been listened to well I come away with a feeling of enormous gratitude. How nice of someone to just walk down whatever road I want to walk down on.
Listening well is a free gift you can give someone today. Whether it’s a spouse, a friend, or someone you work with. It will make a difference.
Now that I’ve finished this coaching process I’ll probably take some time to review some of the books that I’ve gone through in the process in case someone might find them helpful.
So what about you? When was the last time someone really listened to you well? What was it like for you to receive that gift?
[image by BL1961]