How Far Should You Live From The People You Serve?
It’s a question I’ve been thinking about for the last few months.
At the moment I just have one church. And without any traffic, it takes me a good 40 minutes to get to the church. With any traffic at all, it easily takes me an hour or more. I feel like it’s been severely limiting to my ministry. If someone wants to meet with me, I find myself thinking about what time they want to meet. Is it close to rush hour? Can they meet at a different time to avoid traffic? Of course if there’s an emergency I come no matter the time.
But I can’t lead a small group from my house. It’s too far for people to come.
I can’t invite people over for lunch. People have come. But I’m embarrassed to invite more people, because I know for many it would mean driving an hour. I dream about selling my house and living 5 minutes or less from the church. That way I feel like I could actually be available to the people. And I could get to know the community around the church well. And serve them.
So at the moment, I’m really feeling that for a modern missionary/pastor to be effective, he should live in the community that he serves.
But what about you? What do you think? Is it really important? What have you noticed in your own context?
[image by K2D2vaca]
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I’ve dealt with the same dilemma. I serve a large church in a metropolitan area that spans two states. When I came to the church a year ago, I chose to live about 25 minutes away (16 miles). Although that doesn’t seem far, I found that there was a psychological barrier among my church members because I lived “across the river” in the other state.
After 11 months, we moved from there to a house 5 blocks from the church. After 45 days in the new place, I can say that it has been much better to be in the church’s neighborhood. The house we’re in isn’t ideal. The neighborhood wouldn’t be my first choice if not for the church. But it has been better for my ministry and better for my family.
And I even get to tuck my kids into bed before church board every now and then.
Thanks for sharing that, Jonathan! Yeah, Lord willing when we sell this house, I want to live much closer, even if the neighborhood isn’t quite as nice or convenient. Where I’m living right now everything is super close and it’s really nice. Just 5 minutes from everything. Around the church it’s not ghetto or anything, but things are a little further apart. But I think I’m willing to do that to be a modern missionary.
Rodlie,
After watching my Dad spend his entire career commuting from our suburban home into the city (at one point, for over two decades he was taking the car, train, and subway in a 2 1/2 hour commute each way). As I grew up I decided that was something I’ve never wanted to do–in fact, I’m somewhat allergic to that whole idea of commuting a long distance. So now I’ve never lived more than five minutes away from where I worked. I’ve liked that very much simply because I’m close by–I spend less on transportation and if there is an emergency (like, when I was in southern California and worked at the White Estate, after an earthquake I could go by the library to check to make sure everything was OK or pick up books off the shelf). Conversely, the temptation if you live close by is that you have to be more intentional to separate yourself from your work (or, in a ministry setting, to have healthy boundaries so that you don’t have church members over at your home *all* the time either!).
Your friend,
Michael
Wow! I’m left breathless imagining commuting 2.5 hours each way…..wow….And you have a good point about maintaining boundaries if you’re too close. I think you’re smart that you live close to your church.
It’s sounds like your situation is along the same lines as my industry. In Real Estate, it’s best to live near or in your farm area (the neighborhoods you sell the most). That way you’re more active in the local community and you can patronize the businesses of your members which is great for networking and building the congregation.
Plus, as you stated, the proximity makes it easier for the people you serve. With the exception of infrequent trips to South Tampa, if I have clients who want to see a listing the same day, I can take solace in knowing that I’m only a few minutes away from the property or from a meeting place with that client.
Good luck with everything. God will give you guidance and wisdom to do what’s best.
Thanks, Michael! I guess living close is good for quite a few industries!
I rarely respond to your blogs, but this time I must. I have felt for a long time that effectively serving a church while living elsewhere is almost impossible. I know there are financial, can’t-sell-the-house, my-spouse-has-a-good-job, and education-for-the-kids reasons, but I don’t think those reasons justify the lack of attention given members or the harvest that is waiting to be reached. At the same time, we have to recognize that many members commute into churches from a distance as well, which is also problematic. Similar to the Mormon church which requires members attend churches based on location, we need to strongly encourage members to attend churches close to where they live if at all possible. That would allow them to bear fruit where they have been planted, including reaching out to their neighbors, invite them to their homes for small group activities when appropriate, and inviting them to the church that is hopefully close by. If it is impossible for the pastor to live close to the church, then the church should consider finding a place where the pastor can stay several nights of the week so he can minister to the members during the week. Every situation is different and there are reasons for why people chose to live in a particular location, but I am not convinced living away is best. Of course some of the reasons are hard to overcome–for example the house-won’t-sell” reason. For those who find themselves in such a situation, pray and fast and ask God to sell the house so that you CAN live closer. It may be that God hasn’t allowed the house to sell because the motivation for doing so isn’t for greater ministry but some other self-centered reason that God won’t honor. For those who find themselves without such constraint, follow Adonirum Judson’s mantra, “Plan to please the Lord”: make plans that will allow you to please God in being the most effective pastor possible, which means planning to be able to live close to your members, at the present and in the future, which may mean renting. Dan
Very well said, Dan. Thanks for those thoughts!
Move NOW!:). I once thought it didn’t matter then I seved two churches, for one I lived in that same city the other I lived 30 or so minutes away. The church that was in my town of residence almost tripled in attendance. The church in the city I didn’t live was basically the same size when I left, other reasons played into this, but I am convinced one of the factors included where I lived.
Wow! That’s crazy.
I live about ten minutes from my church. This works out well. I have had several Bible studies with my nieghbors and several have visited my church. Two have been baptized. I am close enough I can ride my bike to the community service center at my church on Tuesday mornings. I find I connect easily with the people there who are getting food and clothing because they see me as one of them since many of them are homeless and have no cars. Ten minutes away is close enough to connect with the community and be accessable, but not so close that people call me to go see if they left there Bible at the church or whatever.
William Earnhardt recently posted..All Things Work Together for Good
Yeah, I think this is perfect, William. Thanks for sharing. This is what I’m going to be aiming for when we move from this house. Definitely 10 minutes or less. I think I might even shoot for 5 minutes or less, but we’ll see what ends up working out.
Ideally, live in the community. However, in ten years of ministry I have had three churches and because they are so small, eventually they are unable to afford a pastor. In my denomination churches cannot be forced to merge, and there has always been reliance on having babies as a way of growing the church, rather than evangelism. I try to convince the 70 year olds who populate the pews where I serve to become evangelists. They’ve never done it, and aren’t about to start now.
I own a home from which I commute to the church. If I sold my home (which I inherited, is worth next to nothing, but does provide a roof over my head), where would I be when next month or next year the church says: “Sorry pastor, we can’t pay you anymore? I am a single woman with no family.
I hear you. We don’t always have that luxury of living in the community, I suppose. Especially if there are multiple churches involved. Praying for you Kim! What denomination are you a part of, by the way?
I am a pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America AND I am in the “Rustbelt” part of the country, where our churches are very small.
Rod: And thanks for the prayers!
You’re welcome! Keep pushing forward!